I’m working in the front half of Diesel: they’ve just opened up the large garage door that doubles as the café’s front windows, and the day’s, well, picturesque. It’s one of my favorite places in Boston or, hell, anywhere to work, and days like this make the deal even sweeter.

Anyway. So a few minutes ago, a couple walks in the door: mid-20s, rocking the Somerville preppie look. Walking behind them and past is a kid in his early 20s, slouching on past in oversized headphones, a t-shirt down to his knees, and pants that I’m sure The Most Reverend Hammer is missing. As he passes the coffeeshop, his neck snaps sharply to the left and downward as though someone dropped the remote control for it, and he stares directly at the girl’s denim mini-skirt. Sporting a half-smirk and a raised eyebrow that’d make Jack Nicholson proud, he walks on past, alternating between being fixated on this girl’s ass and trying to catch her eye. Failing to get the attention of either, he looks ahead and walk on.

So my question is: sir, has that technique ever actually worked? If so, then Darwin might need to rethink a few things.